This entry will smack of tokenism, as it’ll likely be the last one of this year. Best wishes for the new one to those who care.
Since this has become more a book/film comment sort of blog lately (accident not design), I’ll mention a couple of purchases. I took advantage of WHSmith’s sale, picking up the videos of Jeepers Creepers and A.I. (Artificial Intelligence) for £4.49 each. A good deal for a couple of pretty successful 2001 films.
Read More »Another Year Ends
Hm. Someone recently suggested Web design as a possible career for me. I’m not really convinced. I mess about with Web design occasionally out of boredom as much as anything else. I’m not sure I enjoy it much, and the results are usually disappointing, because my design skills are never really up to realising what’s in my head.
Read More »HTML
More on creative stuff (see May 26th). It’s hard to express my feelings on it, since they’re so changeable. But I think the basic thrust is that when I try to pressure myself into writing with the purpose of making money in mind, the enjoyment factor does drain away, completely… so that it’s no longer so easy for me to see how I feel about it at all… the money thing confuses the issue, confuses my feelings, and compounds my cynicism about the whole thing, not to mention my sense of being a failure.
*sigh* I think it’s far too complicated to unravel properly, to be honest.
Whatever the case, I seem to be not even trying at the moment. Maybe something will come to me, maybe it won’t. But I reckon I should let it come naturally.
Read More »Creativity Redux
Hmmm… well, I’m not even sure I have a need to do this blog anymore. But I guess I’ll keep it, at least until a better idea turns up. Maybe I’ll think of a good use for it sometime.
‘What about all your moaning about how crappy life is?’ Yeah, exactly. I’ve noticed that a lot of people use their blogs for that purpose and it makes me think, maybe perversely, that it must be a bit of a naff thing to do! In any case, I’d like to think that my desire to moan is diminishing… I could pretty easily whine about our dog’s illness, or the fact that my social life is, to say the least, minimalistic, but… it’s old. Been there, done it.
Read More »The Meaning of Whatever
Thinking about creative stuff. Again.
I’m not sure I actually enjoy writing all that much… the results can be pleasing on occasion, but the process itself, I’m not so sure about… I have a strong feeling I’m just grasping at something a few people seem to think I do well. I’ve read interviews with lots of writers and they always say, ‘I just have to write. Even if I was penniless and a complete failure, I’d still have a write. It’s a need.’ I don’t feel that. I’m just trying to find something that I can earn money from.
I did enjoy drawing. A long time ago. But once I realised I was crap, the enjoyment disappeared a good deal, because I’d spent several years chasing something I wasn’t real good at.
Read More »Creativity
I have been doing a bit more writing, but it’s in small bursts. I revised a story I wrote about a year ago, and I have four other new items in various stages of not being complete. I think I’d feel a lot more inspired if I felt better generally… but at least what I have written seems to be less crippled with infantile mannerisms than it used to be. I might even get a bit of self-belief back eventually.
Read More »Uninspired
Wow. Last night a so-called old friend of mine induced one of their creepy pals to come here and leave a truly obscene message on my guestbook (which, you’ll be disappointed to hear, has been deleted). [NOTE: Guestbook no longer online.]
Having been slightly debilitated with a touch of flu for a couple of days, and feeling miserable, this was a truly pleasant thing for me to see. Let’s just say that part of the message’s content implied I have sex with dogs… and some of it was even more offensive. *sigh*
Read More »Guestbook Fun
Monday was a bit of a drama with our poor, ailing pooch, Fred. He seemed in quite a lot of discomfort and losing more blood than usual (usual being in the context of his illness). So off we went to the vet, completely expecting Fred to not be coming home with us. It was really quite traumatic.
However, the vet would not recommend putting him to sleep. The decision was in our hands. He suggested doubling the dose of Fred’s medication, and advised us to monitor his ‘quality of life’—that if he seemed in constant discomfort, that would be an indication that perhaps the time had come.
Well, as it has turned out, this was just a bad day, and the vet was right to be cautious. He’s seemed reasonably okay since then. We all know he won’t be around for too much longer, but it’s no joke to go through the experience of thinking it’s the end… and when it isn’t, knowing you’re going to go through it all again sometime.
Read More »Pet Problems
Still working on getting rid of my flat. Moved a lot of stuff back home, but will need a van for bigger stuff. Feel a bit stupid to have wasted so much money on a move that never quite worked out, but still. When I finally do move to my own place, I think it basically has to be (a) when I’m more financially stable and independent and (b) somewhere else in the country, probably down South. Meantime, things should be okay-ish here, and at least money will be less tight.
Big decisions! Well, not really. I’m trying to decide if I should have something done with my crappy hair. I’ve been advised to have it shorter and maybe with a fringe. I’m not sure I like this idea…
Read More »Movin’ On
Yup, almost two weeks since last entry, and I wish there was a lot to report, but it’s been mostly a time of thinking, along with a fair bit of reading. I’ve just read the first collection of Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes stories, which are very entertaining. I’ll probably read the others when I have chance, but I have a lot of other stuff to read, too.
Read More »Reading