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inspiration

No, a real posting this time…

Last one was quite a weak excuse, wasn’t it? But, I’m in a Web Mood. I’ve just been brushing up on my Web skills a bit and thought I’d upgrade the place and add a few ideas I hit on elsewhere. And say hello, if anyone’s still reading. Always appreciate feedback, but prefer it not to be of an anyonymous nature.

My financial situation is still dreadful and the hunt for regular, stable work continues. Yeah, I’m told about my boundless talent quite often; just hasn’t paid off a great deal to date. But I’m still slogging away trying to get to a better position.
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Back and Forth

No, I haven’t abandoned the blog. I just haven’t had much to say, really. Mom and I both had a nasty cold week before last (caught from her boss), and with mom’s health not being great, she’s still suffering the effects, so it’s been a subdued atmosphere.

I got asked for a blowjob today by someone about 15 years my junior. Charming folk round here! But, I guess, the nearest thing to a proposition I’m gonna get anytime soon. 🙂
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Success is…?

I think I consider myself an unsuccessful person in most respects. I’m always wary of buying into someone else’s subjective value system; our government would, no doubt, love to ram their values down all our throats forcibly if that were possible. I’m trying to define success on a personal level that means something to me.

Trouble is, even on my own terms, I can’t find much from my current or past life that would qualify as successful (or even especially rewarding, which is probably the best kind of success of all). I’ve wasted half my life treading water. I think my recent birthday still troubles me on that level.

I don’t think I relate to other people very well. Most people are very facile at pretending they’re okay (most of the time), really well adjusted and comfortable, etc. I’m not sure it’s possible for any of us to be genuinely comfortable in this intense, madhouse environment we’re living in. We’ve abandoned almost everything that constituted our default existence, and such profound artificiality can’t possibly hold together coherently. Well, I mean, it doesn’t! I think society is more culturally divided than it ever was, even though more people are straining to pretend otherwise. (Usually, alas, to flatter their own egos rather than to seek genuine change.)
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Another Year Ends

This entry will smack of tokenism, as it’ll likely be the last one of this year. Best wishes for the new one to those who care.

Since this has become more a book/film comment sort of blog lately (accident not design), I’ll mention a couple of purchases. I took advantage of WHSmith’s sale, picking up the videos of Jeepers Creepers and A.I. (Artificial Intelligence) for £4.49 each. A good deal for a couple of pretty successful 2001 films.
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HTML

Hm. Someone recently suggested Web design as a possible career for me. I’m not really convinced. I mess about with Web design occasionally out of boredom as much as anything else. I’m not sure I enjoy it much, and the results are usually disappointing, because my design skills are never really up to realising what’s in my head.
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