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Does a New Year Mean Anything?

I’m not sorry to see 2003 go. It was in some ways a significant year… we got the house move situation sorted out, finally, and I made the arguably foolish decision to kiss Der State Benefit System goodbye because I no longer felt my life was my own…

That said, I can no longer define a year as a unit as precisely as I felt I once could. Each year once appeared to have a particular ‘personality,’ which no longer seems to be the case (to me). Well, after all, a year is just an arbitrary unit of measurement, so the former impression was probably illusory.
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I Want to be a Brain Surgeon

It’s odd how my vocal acceptance of Web design not being the career for me causes another long debate about it! I can’t escape from it.

What I really want is to go into brain surgery. But I need practice. I have a load of good utensils in the kitchen. Volunteers? Er, no one’s doubting my inestimable skill are they?
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Slight Improvement?!

I’m experiencing some emotional turmoil, with various factors ever-present. My employment situation, general isolation and lack of self-belief, etc. They’re big issues, without any obvious answers, and it drags my morale down constantly. It is possible in fifteen years to go from thinking you have tons of creative potential to believing you’re worth nothing. A long cycle of non-success is usually sufficient.
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1095 Days

Well, it’s now December, which means this blog’s three years old. How scary. Life was quite substantially different three years ago (in both a better way and a worse way). Starting a blog was just a laugh at the time, which on reflection might be the best attitude to have, since looking for a greater importance seems bound to fail.
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I Need to Expose Myself

I’m still not in the greatest of moods. This ‘government scheme’ business is a big factor (hey, our government does nothing but scheme!). On balance, since the house move is so near now, I think I’m inclined to just opt out of the system. £50-odd a week isn’t nearly enough to justify the degree of control they can exert upon me.

So, I’m available for work! Presently, I’m collecting together a few decent writing samples and making a Web site for offering Web design services. I can write. I can do Web pages. Someone out there must have a use for me.

Now, about this Web site… considering the poor degree of link exposure I have, the traffic’s not so bad. But, you know, I’ve worked pretty hard on this site—I reckon it’s one of the better-designed blogs out there, and while some of the content might be considered boring, the same goes for every single blog I’ve ever read. This blog’s as good as anyone else’s, dammit.
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It’s All Good Fun

Yes, I’m still here. Interesting (if absurd) developments on the New Deal front. The manager of the course told me she agrees that it’s not really appropriate for me at the present time… but, there’s no way out of it bar getting a job or foregoing your benefit. In fact, once you’re on ND, you’re stuck on it, or something similar, until you find work—if you’ve failed to do so after the 13-week duration, you’re put onto something else… and so on, and so on, ad nauseum.

Anyway, the only other option is to go on the sick. In my case, if my GP was agreeable, it would be for stress. Yep, that’s right: stress these people have caused. You’re either sick or your life revolves around finding a job. No other options, screw individual circumstances, end of story.
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HTML

Hm. Someone recently suggested Web design as a possible career for me. I’m not really convinced. I mess about with Web design occasionally out of boredom as much as anything else. I’m not sure I enjoy it much, and the results are usually disappointing, because my design skills are never really up to realising what’s in my head.
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