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Too Much Analysis

I’ve been thinking about human interaction a bit. Bad idea. Thinking usually ends up troubling me.

Sometimes, it seems to me that a lot of human interaction is bullshit. You pretend to feel better than you really do whenever possible, pretend to be more interesting than you think you really are, and generally ‘sell’ yourself. I’m absolutely useless at doing this. You’d think, understanding the theory, I might not be quite so pathetic at it—then again, part of the problem is understanding it, because then you start to question its futility or dishonesty and open another massive can of worms. Oboy. Too much time on my hands = too much analysis.

Work situation… a brief rant…
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Creativity

Thinking about creative stuff. Again.

I’m not sure I actually enjoy writing all that much… the results can be pleasing on occasion, but the process itself, I’m not so sure about… I have a strong feeling I’m just grasping at something a few people seem to think I do well. I’ve read interviews with lots of writers and they always say, ‘I just have to write. Even if I was penniless and a complete failure, I’d still have a write. It’s a need.’ I don’t feel that. I’m just trying to find something that I can earn money from.

I did enjoy drawing. A long time ago. But once I realised I was crap, the enjoyment disappeared a good deal, because I’d spent several years chasing something I wasn’t real good at.
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Reading

Yup, almost two weeks since last entry, and I wish there was a lot to report, but it’s been mostly a time of thinking, along with a fair bit of reading. I’ve just read the first collection of Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes stories, which are very entertaining. I’ll probably read the others when I have chance, but I have a lot of other stuff to read, too.
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Money Money Money

I did need a break. In theory. But I ended up feeling pretty miserable most of the weekend, and guess what? The main reason was about the old chestnut itself: money.

Many things revolve around it. I don’t have much of it. I’d like lots of it. But hell, wouldn’t we all. I suppose if nothing else it has put me into a frame of mind where I’m fumbling for money-making schemes, and who knows, something might take off.
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Bugs from Outer Space!

So… there might have been life on Mars after all. Okay, only bugs, but what’s wrong with bugs? At least bugs aren’t prone to the kind of senseless, cretinous behaviour some of us supposedly civilised, intelligent human beings are capable of. Yeah. I think we should officially nominate bugs as supremely cool creatures.

Silliness aside, I guess I do find the idea of real alien life kinda fascinating and exciting, even if it is only bugs. The evidence is being disputed already, so it could still be a bogus lead. But it’s an intriguing possibility.
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