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Preoccupied

It hasn’t been a week for drawing anything. Too much on my mind, I suppose. I’ve been looking for a job, i.e. full-time & salaried—down in the London area. I’ve been doing same locally for ages (this area sadly being of one of the country’s darkest & deepest pits jobs-wise), being that the lack of stability of freelancing has certainly caused me problems—and a lot of other people, during the recession, as far as I can tell. But, I thought, if I’m investing so much time into this, why am I looking round here? I don’t like it round here.

Well, yes, down south was littered with bad judgement calls last time. I messed-up repeatedly as far as places to live were concerned, and my mom’s death was still affecting my morale. It went badly. But in actual fact, I didn’t want to leave. It just became the only ‘sensible’ option under the circumstances. Even at that, the experience left me shattered enough to ask my GP for anti-depressants. They helped a bit for a while, but I stopped taking them back in January because they had clearly outlived their use. Doing so hasn’t left me in a worse mood, at any rate. Perhaps a touch better generally, once withdrawal had passed.
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No, a real posting this time…

Last one was quite a weak excuse, wasn’t it? But, I’m in a Web Mood. I’ve just been brushing up on my Web skills a bit and thought I’d upgrade the place and add a few ideas I hit on elsewhere. And say hello, if anyone’s still reading. Always appreciate feedback, but prefer it not to be of an anyonymous nature.

My financial situation is still dreadful and the hunt for regular, stable work continues. Yeah, I’m told about my boundless talent quite often; just hasn’t paid off a great deal to date. But I’m still slogging away trying to get to a better position.
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Now It Can Be Told

I’m moving tomorrow. To Fulham.

It’s been an interesting past month or so. I got a cold which didn’t go away and it became apparent it was glandular fever. I’m still not 100%—the weakness and lethargy can last a couple of months—but I’m not too bad. (Having said that, I do feel a bit rough at the moment, but I hope it’s just the fact that I got a bit drunk last night, against medical advice…)

It is really, REALLY unpleasant to be actually quite ill in a town where you don’t really know anyone. I’d have really appreciated someone being able to do a bit of shopping for me, or walk the dog once or twice, just to allow me a couple or three days of complete rest. But it wasn’t possible here in Brighton. I had to drag myself out at least once a day to walk the dog and get food. It was, on the whole, a hellish period for me.
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Brighton

Right, so I went to Brighton yesterday (meaning Wednesday). That’s the moving situation. I’ve decided that, as Brighton is just 40 minutes away from London (the city centre) on the train, the air is a hell of a lot cleaner, and most importantly, you can rent quite nice places for about the same as you can get squalid dumps in most of London… that’s where I’m gonna relocate to.

The irony is that this is where mom and I planned to move to. We were still talking about this a year ago. It was roughly a year ago that mom started to show symptoms that led to a grim diagnosis and the end of her life. That’s been on my mind a fair bit, for obvious reasons, but I’m trying to not let it get me too down.

I do like Brighton, anyway. The seafront’s a major attraction, and as it’s not all that large, you’re never too far away from anything. I have to go into the city from here if, say, I want to browse a large music store… the only local option is a tiny HMV in Wimbledon. Yeah, Wimbledon turned out to be much smaller and less impressive than initial impressions suggested. :-/
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In the Mood

Shades April 11 2004Another warm, though not excessively bright, day. The hot stuff is coming! As you can see, I’m making a token effort to get in the mood for the weather… alas, less clothing only tends to prove I need to lose a few pounds. *sigh*

I’ve been thinking about money a lot again recently. I’m not stressing over it, though. I still want to be able to earn some cash from writing at some point—the recent writing I’ve done has been heaps better than any of my earlier work—but it’s going to be a slow road ahead unless I get lucky. (BTW: I’m talking about journalism, not creative/fiction stuff, which is a lost cause to all but the stubbornly dedicated and hugely prodigious.)

So the rat race beckons a little again. I’m resisting. At this exact moment in time, life is fairly comfortable, so I’m not letting the pressure bring me down. In some ways, though, I think the routine of a regular job would benefit me: it would break my horrendous sleeping patterns, for instance. I keep fairly busy—I do most of our shopping these days, as mom’s health is not great and she wants to hold down her part-time job for as long as she can. So I don’t feel useless. But an income can boost a person’s self-esteem and routine isn’t always a bad thing. Hmmm.
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