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depression

Get Me Away From Here, I’m Dying

I’ll tell you another big drawback with this house move thing. I (rather optimistically) packed up a lot of my books and music some months ago in anticipation of moving! So, of course, certain items I might have given little thought to for aeons suddenly take on a rosy, alluring glow, knowing they’re just beyond reach. Oh, I could undo the boxes (which are in the spare room), but fiddling with all that parcel tape is too depressing. So I’ll wait. And try more optimism as best I can.
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I Can’t Support the War

So the war atrocities are well underway. I would prefer to not even think about it, let alone rant about it, but there it is on the box incessantly.

Blair wants us to give our support to this sordid affair. His ‘address’ last night was even less convincing than usual, because he didn’t even seem able to muster his usual wild-eyed fervour. F**k you, Mr. Blair. Whether Saddam Hussein is stockpiling chemical weapons or not, we are the aggressor in this instance—we’re causing innocent deaths, the number of which our official propaganda will never disseminate. I can’t/won’t ‘support’ a cause that produces the hideous carnage we’re seeing all over our screens. I will sympathise with the troops who have do this filthy work; I hope most of them come out of it in one piece.
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Christmas Approaches

I got pretty bummed out yesterday, but it was just over general stuff. Nothing major. Mom was in out-patients briefly, to have a couple of skin cancers removed… not serious, just an unfortunate side-effect of the drugs she takes as a transplant patient. (Kidney transplant, 1990.)

Today, we watched the 1956 Moby Dick movie on Channel 4. I generally don’t watch afternoon films, but I’d actually never seen this one. It was directed by John Huston, screenplay by Ray Bradbury. Anyhow, glad I finally saw it. Gregory Peck—who I’ve always had immense admiration for—was typically brilliant as Ahab. And it reminded me that I’d like to see To Kill a Mockingbird again sometime, as I hardly remember anything about it (I saw it a long time ago). Harper Lee’s original novel is excellent, and would probably be in my top ten list if I thought there was any sense in making in such things.
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Pet Problems

Monday was a bit of a drama with our poor, ailing pooch, Fred. He seemed in quite a lot of discomfort and losing more blood than usual (usual being in the context of his illness). So off we went to the vet, completely expecting Fred to not be coming home with us. It was really quite traumatic.

However, the vet would not recommend putting him to sleep. The decision was in our hands. He suggested doubling the dose of Fred’s medication, and advised us to monitor his ‘quality of life’—that if he seemed in constant discomfort, that would be an indication that perhaps the time had come.

Well, as it has turned out, this was just a bad day, and the vet was right to be cautious. He’s seemed reasonably okay since then. We all know he won’t be around for too much longer, but it’s no joke to go through the experience of thinking it’s the end… and when it isn’t, knowing you’re going to go through it all again sometime.
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New Year Blues

First entry of the year, eh? What took so long? Well, let’s see… I had this short but gruelling tour of book-signings to promote my latest best-seller, followed by a short break in Italy and a couple of extravagant shopping sprees. I’ve been a bit busy!

Hm. So I tried the interesting version. I don’t think anyone bought it, though. Oh well.
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Isolated

I’ve had a few really quite supportive e-mails in the last couple of weeks. I’m sure I come across as ungrateful sometimes, which is unfortunate,… Read More »Isolated

Loneliness

Nothing much to say still. It’s been a fairly miserable week—mom’s been ill with some bad bout of flu or somesuch, which has knocked her down pretty badly. The atmosphere has been low key and depressing.
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Lethargy

Monday was a fairly lethargic day. Batteries are recharging slowly. My insomnia hasn’t improved much, by the way. 🙂