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depression

Terminal Tedium

I can honestly say, right now, the Internet is boring the hell out of me in a bigger way than at any other point in my eight years online.

Hence, the lack of blogging. I find it hard to see the point in bothering at the moment. I’m certainly not part of the Blogging Community, if such a thing exists, and I don’t feel this blog gives me any kind of real connection with other people. The worst thing is, people only tend to respond to me when I’m ranting. From that, I must infer that I’m boring as hell when I’m not having a moan! That doesn’t provide me with very much incentive. I’m not gonna moan to get attention, but I can’t be bothered wasting my time on something that people find dull, either. Maybe I am dull!
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It’s All Good Fun

Yes, I’m still here. Interesting (if absurd) developments on the New Deal front. The manager of the course told me she agrees that it’s not really appropriate for me at the present time… but, there’s no way out of it bar getting a job or foregoing your benefit. In fact, once you’re on ND, you’re stuck on it, or something similar, until you find work—if you’ve failed to do so after the 13-week duration, you’re put onto something else… and so on, and so on, ad nauseum.

Anyway, the only other option is to go on the sick. In my case, if my GP was agreeable, it would be for stress. Yep, that’s right: stress these people have caused. You’re either sick or your life revolves around finding a job. No other options, screw individual circumstances, end of story.
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The Meaning of Life: Part 364

I had my fifth ‘mentoring’ session at the Jobcentre yesterday. The first one was back on March 19th.

At my previous appointment, two weeks ago, my mentor had been delving into ambition in a general sense. He told me he felt I was very intelligent and had a lot to offer (although, exactly what, he couldn’t specify). At one point he said, ‘Maybe you’d just like to meet Mr. Right, get married and have babies.’ (He added, ‘There’s nothing wrong with that.’) This comment amused me, really, and yet it did have something—I really don’t think I am all that ambitious per se. I’ve only genuinely realised that in the last couple of years.
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