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meaning of life

The Meaning of Whatever

Hmmm… well, I’m not even sure I have a need to do this blog anymore. But I guess I’ll keep it, at least until a better idea turns up. Maybe I’ll think of a good use for it sometime.

‘What about all your moaning about how crappy life is?’ Yeah, exactly. I’ve noticed that a lot of people use their blogs for that purpose and it makes me think, maybe perversely, that it must be a bit of a naff thing to do! In any case, I’d like to think that my desire to moan is diminishing… I could pretty easily whine about our dog’s illness, or the fact that my social life is, to say the least, minimalistic, but… it’s old. Been there, done it.
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Angst Chronicles

Right, to update the last entry: mom came out of hospital the Wednesday after, and she’s more or less okay now. Our dog, Fred, who some of you will know is ill and sadly not going to make it, has been up and down, but holding on. So right now, I guess things are as ‘normal’ as they can be round here.
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Happy New Year

The end of the year. Thought I’d make a final entry, since I’m not particularly celebrating it… just coasting through it with mixed feelings and, I guess, a fairly relaxed mood.

New Year’s Eves past: I think of Dec 31st 1998, where it seemed I was in a pretty bad rut and unhappy with almost everything. As midnight struck, I leaned out of the open window of my bedroom and listened to all the parties going on, fireworks, etc., and said to myself, ‘This time next year, things will be quite different.’
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Taking Control

Still I find myself contemplating the meaning of life, but in some respects this has taken a more positive direction.

I am, in general, feeling considerably more determined to make my life more ordered and less stressful. I don’t have a full set of answers right now, but I’m lucky to be finding writing—both the stuff I complete and numerous scraps I fiddle with and toss aside—increasingly cathartic again. One of the things that stopped me writing much was that I produced something that kinda scared me a bit, during a really dark period, around the early Summer of 1999. But that’s history.
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