Skip to content

success

Success is…?

I think I consider myself an unsuccessful person in most respects. I’m always wary of buying into someone else’s subjective value system; our government would, no doubt, love to ram their values down all our throats forcibly if that were possible. I’m trying to define success on a personal level that means something to me.

Trouble is, even on my own terms, I can’t find much from my current or past life that would qualify as successful (or even especially rewarding, which is probably the best kind of success of all). I’ve wasted half my life treading water. I think my recent birthday still troubles me on that level.

I don’t think I relate to other people very well. Most people are very facile at pretending they’re okay (most of the time), really well adjusted and comfortable, etc. I’m not sure it’s possible for any of us to be genuinely comfortable in this intense, madhouse environment we’re living in. We’ve abandoned almost everything that constituted our default existence, and such profound artificiality can’t possibly hold together coherently. Well, I mean, it doesn’t! I think society is more culturally divided than it ever was, even though more people are straining to pretend otherwise. (Usually, alas, to flatter their own egos rather than to seek genuine change.)
Read More »Success is…?

How to Fail

Two weeks and no entries! Well, yeah. Nothing has really changed in the last fortnight. I guess I’m stuck with a genuine tendency towards persistence, i.e. I persist in spite of no break from my angst and having major trouble generally. Being blasé is the best policy, but I never got the hang of that. I think my life has always been one of belief and integrity, insofar as that’s possible, but experience tells me it’s not a recipe for success. Not giving much of a fuck about anything is probably the path to success. But if I could be like that, I’d be someone else. Convenient personality changes aren’t part of my repertoire, unfortunately.
Read More »How to Fail