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grief

Renewal

As I type this specific sentence we’re at roughly 1:10am on the 27th. Of May. Not the friendliest of dates for me. Today, four years ago, my mother passed away. I’d be lying if I said it had been the greatest four years ever. It’s had its good points. Just not enough of them. And since moving back here in Dec ’07, I’d say the good points have receded quite dramatically.
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What’s Another Year

Yeah, 12 months tomorrow since mom died. Can’t believe it really, and I have no positive feelings to report on the matter.

Still in a bit of mess in terms of living situation too. Wish I could just get settled somewhere. Very depressed. May get drunk in a bit. Dunno. Not much else to say, really.

Here’s an early 1980s pic of mom…
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Mom

Mom & Nan Photobooth 1960s

That’s mom, some years before I even existed, in the early to mid-’60s. The older woman is her mother, my nan, who died in 1989. It’s one of four little photobooth snaps mom carried around in her purse right to the end. I found them last night and shed tears.

I want to remember her a little bit. Paul called me this afternoon and we were on for over two hours. A bit of a life-saver, that. He was interested to see some of the older photos as he met her a couple of times and spoke to her on the phone occasionally.
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Loss

On July 7th 2002, in the early hours, our family dog Fred died, following a long illness. We’d been prepared for it for some time, but it was still a blow, as he was only eight years old.

By the early evening of the same day, astonishingly, my father was being rushed to hospital with a massive heart attack. In the early hours of July 8th, after several attempts to revive him, he too passed away. We’d had no warning of this, although the doctor said he had apparently been suffering from a serious, undiagnosed heart condition for a long time. He was 62.

Fred in 1998
Fred in 1998.
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