alan moore

Comics: Time Machine

I was thinking about what I’d do if I had a time machine, and I got onto comics. Obviously, comics are a complete car crash at this point. But what event(s) that could be stopped might prevent this ever happening?

My answer: stop Alan Moore and Frank Miller doing Watchmen and Dark Knight Returns. Now, hear me out! I have affection for both of these books. I do think both are overrated—especially Watchmen, as beyond its literary pretensions and symbolisms and “adult” drama (such as two of the heroes getting aroused by their kinky costumes and making out; yawn, very daring even in 1986, I don’t think)… beyond those things… it has kind of a crummy B-movie plot at its core.

I do like the books. They have a lot of good things in them.

But they also helped to destroy comics. It’s not possible, apparently, to do anything deemed “significant” without it leaving a permanent mark on the field. And this particular mark was entirely destructive.

Also: Post-Modernism is trash. Just saying.

So, with my time machine I’m stopping those books. I’ll just tell Alan and Frank what happens later. Perhaps it’ll make them think twice. Failing that, mebbe I’ll put cyanide in Alan’s bong and Frank’s JD bottle…