Renewal

As I type this, we’re at roughly 1:10am on the 27th. Of May. Not the friendliest of dates for me. Today, four years ago, my mother passed away. I’d be lying if I said it had been the greatest four years ever. It’s had its good points. Just not enough of them. And since moving back here in Dec ’07, I’d say the good points have receded quite dramatically.

I could get astoundingly depressed about today with very little effort. But I don’t want to. Of course I miss mom, but it does get easier. A few days ago I re-read all the postings from this time of the year back in ’06. It felt quite strange. Seems more people were reading this blog back then, too, but that’s the price of hardly posting anything for 18 months. Doesn’t seem like all that long ago but it does feel like a different plane in a sense. It is old history, no doubt. It’s time to put it into that context. I guess I already have, to some extent. So I don’t want to get depressed. Maybe I will, a bit—but only a bit.

It feels like there is some potential in the air for a more positive, forward-thinking and -moving phase. Shit, I hope so!

RIP, mom.

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